This study investigated how surviving family members and their dying loved ones communicate about forgiveness during end-of-life conversations, and how that communication has affected the surviving family members individually, as well as in their relationships. Semi-structured interviews were conducted with a sample of 10 participants. The interviews were conversational and open-ended, and provided data through participants’ stories and memories of their forgiveness-communication. Data was analyzed using textual analysis and grounded theory.

Findings revealed three major patterns related to the level of communication about forgiveness: explicit/implicit forgiveness-communication during EOL; explicit/intrapersonal forgiveness-communication after death; nonverbal forgiveness-communication. Additionally, a relevant pattern – family communication patterns contribute to forgiveness-communication during EOL – was related to how forgiveness-communication was initiated and how prior family communication dynamics contributed to whether or how forgiveness was discussed (a sub-pattern included deterrents of forgiveness-communication in the past).

Data also revealed relevant themes and sub-themes related to: how death impacts forgiveness-communication, including death creates urgency for forgiveness-communication (sub-theme: insincerity of EOL forgiveness-communication) and death makes forgiveness-communication difficult; what functions forgiveness has for participants and their relationships (functions of forgiveness) (sub-theme: forgiveness is selfish); and why participants and their loved ones forgave or didn’t forgive (reasons for forgiveness) (sub-theme: reasons for not forgiving). Findings related to the effect of these conversations on participants and their relationships revealed three themes: forgiveness-communication is meaningful, forgiveness-communication is not meaningful, and forgiveness-communication repairs and continues relationships after death.